Separation (2)

Separation isn't only at death.  We have to handle all sorts of separation in life too, don't we, and I suppose those that happen in relationships, friendships, love, are the hardest. We all have to work hard sometimes to keep relationships going, to stop them growing stale, but, of course, there are times when they have just run their course. When it's at its worst, I catch a glimpse on occasion of the suffering that can follow in my work with people from broken marriages

There are many poems and songs about such events in life, but not many capture the raw emotion that can be involved as openly as Irish singer Sinead O'Connor's song and video from 1990 "Nothing Compares To You".  The song was written by American Prince, but her version became better known than the original. The video must be one of the most dramatic and best-known ever produced for a song. Sinead O'Connor went on to have a complicated life but continues to produce music.  But I don't think she ever matched this classic outpouring. Watch out for the real tears in the last chorus.

 

It's been seven hours and 15 days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone, I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose

I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing I said nothing can take away these blues
'Cause nothing compares,  nothing compares to you

 

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby, where did I go wrong?
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you

I went to the doctor, guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said, "Girl you better try to have fun, no matter what you do"
But he's a fool

'Cause nothing compares, nothing compares to you

 

All the flowers that you planted mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares,   nothing compares to you...

Separation (1)

  

Here is a poem/reflection by priest-poet John O'Donoghue that I used in Mass for All  Souls today. The sculpture is the late "Pieta" by Michelangelo in Florence.

When you lose someone you love,
Your life becomes strange,
The ground beneath you gets fragile,
Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;
And some dead echo drags your voice down
Where words have no confidence.
Your heart has grown heavy with loss;
And though this loss has wounded others too,
No one knows what has been taken from you
When the silence of absence deepens.
Flickers of guilt kindle regret
For all that was left unsaid or undone.

There are days when you wake up happy;
Again inside the fullness of life,
Until the moment breaks
And you are thrown back
Onto the black tide of loss.

Days when you have your heart back,
You are able to function well
Until in the middle of work or encounter,
Suddenly with no warning,
You are ambushed by grief.

It becomes hard to trust yourself.
All you can depend on now is that
Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.
More than you, it knows its way
And will find the right time
To pull and pull the rope of grief
Until that coiled hill of tears
Has reduced to its last drop.

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance
With the invisible form of your departed;
And, when the work of grief is done,
The wound of loss will heal
And you will have learned
To wean your eyes
From that gap in the air
And be able to enter the hearth
In your soul where your loved one
Has awaited your return
All the time.

“For Grief” by John O’Donohue, from To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings (Doubleday, 2008)